Sins of the Flesh (Exposed Series Book 1) Read online

  “It just- you’re smarter than this.” She pulled one leg up onto the bed and tucked it underneath her.

  “I know, Mom. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

  “Can you even hear yourself? Do you know how many times you’ve told me that?” She laid the vodka bottle on the bed so she could talk with her hands. “How long do you expect me to keep believing that it’s your friends that smoke and that you’d never drink and drive?”

  I shrugged.

  “I just don’t understand how you can be so reckless.”

  I pursed my lips.

  “If you were in my situation, what would you do?” Her eyes bounced back and forth between mine. “What would you do if your daughter was acting this way?”

  I swallowed. “I don’t know, Mom.” I pulled my towel up and held my hands over my chest. “I know I drink a little… but it’s not like I’m not a total screw up. It’s not like I’m on drugs.” Unless you consider food a drug.

  She shook her head. “This-” She held up the bottle. “This is too much.” She lowered it back down again.

  I wanted to tell her it wasn’t a cry for help and that I would think of the perfect way for her to punish me if she would just get out of my room.

  But then she did the one thing I didn’t want her to do more than anything. She sniffed the air, wrinkled her nose, and looked at me.

  “What’s that smell?”

  I just stared at her.

  Her eyes got big and her eyebrows rose to make room for them. “Well?”

  “I told you I had an upset stomach.”

  She cocked her head. “What kind of upset?”

  “I think I just ate something that didn’t agree with me.”

  She furrowed her brow. “You don’t think it was my lasagna, do you? I made it the same way I always do.”

  “No. It must have been something else.”

  “Did you get sick?”

  “Just a little,” I said. “I feel fine now.”

  She squinted at me, her eyes narrowing on me like laser beams.

  I knew the fact that she was there to confront me about all the lies I’d been telling her lately wasn’t going to work in my favor. And it didn’t help that the weird smell she detected didn’t smell like crap. Or even “a little sick.”

  She rose to her feet without saying anything, leaving the empty vodka bottle on the bed. Then, as if in slow motion, I watched her head towards the bathroom door.

  I stepped in front of her. “You don’t want to go in there. It’s kind of gross. I’m sure the fan will sort it out.”

  “Move, please.”

  My feet froze and I dropped my head.

  She stepped around me and slid the bathroom door open.

  I stopped breathing and listened to her walk into the bathroom. I heard her lift the lid on the toilet. When I turned around, she was staring into the bowl.

  As soon as I realized that my darkest secret was exposed, my eyes began to water. It felt like she was looking at all my pain all at once. Like she was staring at my most festering wound.

  She turned her head towards me, her whole face drooping like she’d been punched in the stomach. “Oh Kate.”

  I opened my mouth to speak, but I just burst into tears.

  I fell to my knees and put my face in my hands. Then I curled forward into the fetal position and shook with every sob.

  I remember seeing my Mom’s knees drop down beside me. I remember how I collapsed against her when she pulled me into her arms, how she held me tight and let me soak her shirt with my tears.

  It felt like I might cry forever.

  And all the while she smoothed my hair against my head, shushed me like a baby, and told me it was going to be okay.

  Chapter 14: Dawn

  I didn’t feel any solidarity with the people I saw on their way to the cancer support group. I didn’t want to join them, fight with them, or embrace them. If anything, I wanted to run the other way.

  I wanted to have as little in common with them as possible. I wanted to prove how alive I was by doing something wild, something a sick person would never have the energy or guts to do.

  If I were rich, there would’ve been lots of ways I could cheer myself up. I could’ve flown somewhere to swim with sharks or jumped out of a plane. But I needed to think of something less expensive and preferably, something I could arrange myself on short notice.

  While I navigated the busy sidewalks trying to think of a way to make myself feel better, I wondered what everyone else was hiding. I wondered who the cheaters and addicts were and who had incurable diseases like mine. Or even just embarrassing ones.

  I stared at a woman across the street and imagined that she had six webbed toes and always thought it was the worst thing ever.

  I passed a pimply faced teenager who looked like he would happily swap his lava face for any other problem. Meanwhile, a group of teenage girls smoked outside a department store across the street. I tried to guess which one of them was going to end up with black, broken lungs like me.

  And I noticed a woman in an obscenely tight white dress who was so botoxed and dripping with hair extensions it was ridiculous. And even though I didn’t approve, I knew we were desperate for the same thing. To turn back the clock. Me on the inside and her on the outside.

  Moments later, I caught a glimpse of myself in a blue glass building. I was in my skinny jeans and an oversized black sweater. I didn’t look sick at all. In fact, for a split second I admired how healthy and fit I looked, completely forgetting that my insides were fighting a losing war.

  Then suddenly, a familiar face walked out from the revolving glass doors to my right. And at that moment, I knew exactly what I needed.

  “Dawn!” Craig lifted his briefcase in a little wave, his face glowing with obvious youth.

  “Craig.” I cocked out a hip and pushed my sunglasses on my head, feeling a decade younger in an instant. “What a pleasant surprise.”

  He pressed his cheek to mine. “You look amazing.”

  The lingering scent of his familiar cologne filled my mind with filth. “Thanks. I feel amazing.”

  “God how long has it been?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. You hadn’t passed the Bar.”

  His blew air out from between his lips. “So too long then.”

  I couldn’t help but smile. It was easy to remember why he was the only patient I ever slept with. He came in to discuss whether his sexual appetite was something he should be worried about. And I did my damnedest to relieve some of the pressure he was under. Or rather, that his cock was under.

  “I’m just off work,” he said, his green eyes casting their usual spell. “Do you have time to grab a drink?”

  I laughed. “A drink?”

  He smiled.

  We didn’t go for drinks. And I could tell from his smile that he wasn’t suggesting we change our ways. So I batted my eyelashes and pretended to think about it.

  “Come on,” he said. “Surely you’re not too busy to catch up with an old friend.”

  I could’ve sworn he winked at me.

  “Okay,” I said, my panties already wet. “Where to?”

  “How about my apartment?”

  “My Apartment?” I smirked. “Is that a new place? I haven’t heard of it.”

  A wide smile spread across his face, making my legs jealous. “Yeah,” he said. “I think you’ll like it.” He stuck his elbow out.

  I linked my arm in his and let him lead me across the street into the parking garage.

  He reached in his pocket and pulled out his keys. The lights of a BMW flashed up ahead.

  “Wow,” I said when I saw the black leather seats up close. “This must have cost a pretty penny.”

  He shrugged and opened the door for me. “I made partner last fall. This was my present to myself.”

  “Nice,” I said, sliding into the passenger seat. “Congratulations.”

  He put his briefcase on the floor in the bac
k before getting in and starting the car. When his large hands gripped the wheel, I grew even more eager for them to grip my thighs.

  As he made his way towards his apartment, I caught a glimpse of my smiling face in the rearview mirror. It was always an escape with Craig.

  But it could never be more.

  If it was about anything besides sex, I’d probably start to hate him. After all, he was a womanizer and a workaholic with an ego so big he probably should’ve gotten the SUV.

  His apartment was just as fancy as I expected, too. All glass and clean lines.

  It had windows that stretched from floor to ceiling, and the large leather wraparound couch looked like the only surface that wasn’t designed to snort coke off of. That and the TV which was as big as a ping pong table.

  But I tried not to act too impressed. After all, he’d never seen my place. For all he knew, I lived somewhere every bit as stylish.

  “Gorgeous place,” I said.

  “Thanks.” He loosened his tie. “What are you drinking?”

  “Vodka.”

  “Mixer?”

  “Surprise me.”

  I walked over to the window. From the fiftieth floor, I could see over the nearby buildings and straight out onto the lake. Sunshine bounced off the surface of the water against the city skyline.

  I felt his hand on my back as he handed me a tall screwdriver.

  “Thanks,” I said, turning towards him. He was several inches taller than me and had an Adam’s apple that just begged to be sucked on.

  “Nice and strong. Just like you like it.”

  I smiled.

  “Do you mind if I change quickly, I’m dying to get out of this suit-”

  “I wish you wouldn’t,” I said, taking a sip of my stiff drink. I turned to face him and raised my eyebrows. “Or at least let me help you.”

  He took a step closer to me and I could feel his swelling cock against the front of my thigh. I pretended to ignore it and set my glass on a table within reach.

  Slowly, I loosened his tie and draped it around my neck before starting on the buttons of his shirt. His eyes were fixed on me so intensely it was like we’d never stopped seeing each other. It felt as if the time apart was only part of the seduction, and we craved each other more than ever.

  Of course, I wasn’t like the other women he slept with. I didn’t want anything from him except sex. I think that’s why it was always so good between us. There was no bullshit, no faking it, no cuddling, no screening calls and acting coy. Just passion. Just pleasure.

  I let my hands drop to his belt and felt my heart quicken with the anticipation of what I was about to release. Initially, I thought I’d take it slow, but it was better this way. After all, there was nothing else to talk about. And all I really wanted was to suck him in front of his picture window until his legs got weak.

  I looked up from his belt and he put a finger under my chin, fixing his bright green eyes on mine.

  I undid his belt, clasping his zipper and sliding it down. He watched me the whole time. His gaze made me lightheaded.

  When I looked back up at him, his pants fell to the floor, and he pressed his full lips to mine, forcing my mouth open with his impatient tongue. I heard him step out of his pants and kick them to the side. Then he pushed his stiff cock, still covered by his boxers, in the space between my thighs. As we kissed, he rubbed against me, teasing me until I ached for him.

  I curled my fingers around the top of his boxers and pulled them down as I dropped to my knees. His cock flung up in front of me, and I grabbed it with both hands.

  I looked up at him and waited for him to make that face I knew so well. That face all men made when they were full of expectant pleasure and anticipation. Then I licked the underside of his cock and twirled my tongue around his head, building some spit up in my mouth. I wanted to slide him in nice and slow so it felt like forever for both of us.

  As I opened my mouth just enough to let him in, I could feel him throbbing in my hands. Then I slid my mouth towards the base of his dick so slowly it was like I was daring him to stay still. When I finally got there, I felt his hands dig into my hair, and it made me so hot I wished he could be in me everywhere at once.

  I wrapped my hands around the back of his muscular thighs and used them to pull him into my mouth over and over, sucking him so hard I fell into a trance.

  And I would’ve sucked him dry in that moment. I would’ve pumped myself full of him and licked every last drop off his glistening cock. But without warning, he stopped me by pulling my hair back just hard enough that my eyes went wide. Then he lifted me to my feet.

  As soon as I stood, I felt dizzy from mouth fucking him. But before I could regain my composure, Craig took control, grabbing me by the waist and turning me around so I was pushed up behind the sofa.

  I braced my arms against the back of the couch and felt his hands go to the front of my jeans. He nestled his strong jaw in the crook of my neck and inhaled as he pulled my pants down around my thighs.

  I was going to reach down and remove them the rest of the way when I felt two thick fingers push into my wet snatch.

  I moaned as he plunged them in again and fucked me with his hand. And just as I started to whimper, he plunged his dick deep inside me. I immediately lost the feeling in my legs and my body folded over the back of the couch.

  He began pounding me from behind with the full weight of his body. Every time he pulled back, it was all I could do to steal a shallow breath. I was barely on my tippy toes so only Craig and the couch were holding me up. Because of my positioning, he was reaching so deep inside me I wanted to scream. But I didn’t dare stop him because that deep spot he was hitting just kept pulsing and getting hotter every time he hit it until- until…

  My legs clamped tight together as I came sharp and hard, my toes curling up off the floor as I let out an ecstatic moan. Craig didn’t stop thrusting when I collapsed. Instead, he picked up the pace for a moment, popping that spot while I kept coming, his firm balls smacking my ass. Finally, he pulled my hips into him and held himself deep inside me where I could feel him throbbing as my pussy clenched around him.

  After some synchronized panting, he lowered my toes back down to the ground without pulling out of me. As I stood back upright, he ran his hands over my chest and nuzzled his face back into my neck again and sighed.

  “I missed that,” he said.

  I wished he wouldn’t ruin the moment with sentimentality.

  “I missed you.”

  “You missed my pussy.”

  He laughed. “And your mouth. Don’t forget your mouth.”

  I rolled my eyes and laughed.

  He pulled out of me and spun me around, pressing his hips against mine.

  “I’m glad I ran into you,” I said, wondering if I was as flushed as he was. “It was nice to… catch up.”

  He smiled. “Maybe we could catch up again sometime,” he said. “I still feel that I owe you big.”

  “Owe me?” I asked. “For what?”

  “For teaching me everything I know.”

  “Oh please,” I reached down and pulled up my pants.

  “Seriously,” he said, walking over to pick up his boxers. “It’s true.”

  I admired his toned silhouette in front of the window while I ran my fingers through my hair. Then I started for the door.

  “Are you leaving?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “That was amazing, Craig, but I really have to go.”

  His face fell, looking instantly boyish and hurt. “You’re not even going to stay and finish your drink?”

  “Rain check?” I asked, tilting my head and picking up my purse.

  He shrugged. “Can I at least give you a lift home?”

  “No, don’t be silly. You’ve done more than enough.”

  “Well I’d love to see you again,” he said. “If you’re-”

  “That would be great. I’ll be in touch,” I said, pulling the door shut behind me.

&nb
sp; I watched impatiently as the elevator buttons lit up in descending order and was relieved when I finally reached the ground floor.

  There was no doubt I had an amazing time. In fact, I couldn’t remember the last time I felt so alive. So… distracted. Our timing couldn’t have worked out better.

  So why didn’t I feel any better? Why did I feel so panicked?

  And then, as I rode home in the back of the taxi with warm cum pooling in my panties, it hit me.

  I was far too young to die.

  Chapter 15: Kate

  Even though we were right next to each other on the couch, Annie and I had to talk pretty loud to hear each other over the music. Especially because two warring DJ’s couldn’t decide between hip hop and classic rock. Amateurs.

  Not that I’d expect more from some random junior’s party. Still, besides all the younger girls throwing themselves at the guys in our class, it wasn’t too bad.

  “So there’s this poster in his building that says you should never drink if you’re H.A.L.T,” Annie said.

  “Halt?” I asked, tipping the rest of a warm Icehouse down my throat.

  “Yeah. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.”

  I leaned over to put my can on the crowded table but I didn’t quite make it, and the can fell to the floor. I would’ve picked it up and tried again, but my head felt like a fishbowl full of beer.

  “Did you hear me?” Annie asked.

  “Sorry what?”

  “Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired,” she said. “It said you should never drink if you feel any of those things.”

  “Shit,” I said. “Then you should never drink. You’re always angry.”

  “I know, right?” She set her can down on the floor, put my dropped one beside it, and pulled two more cans out from our stash behind the couch cushions.

  “And I’m always hungry,” I said, suddenly craving Taco Bell.

  She handed me a can. “I don’t think I’ve ever not been at least one of those things.”

  I raised my can in agreement and tried to take a sip.

  “You have to open it first, dumbass,” she said, pulling her own beer tab until it hissed and cracked.

  I opened my beer and when I looked up, I saw some stupid junior throwing herself at Ian in the corner. He was acting disinterested, but he was probably loving every minute of it.