Out of Breath (Exposed Series Book 2) Read online

  Out of Breath

  Hazel Kelly

  © 2014 Hazel Kelly

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, copied, or stored in any form or by any means without permission of the author. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.

  All characters in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons is purely coincidental.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1: Kate

  Chapter 2: Dawn

  Chapter 3: Kate

  Chapter 4: Dawn

  Chapter 5: Kate

  Chapter 6: Dawn

  Chapter 7: Kate

  Chapter 8: Dawn

  Chapter 9: Kate

  Chapter 10: Dawn

  Chapter 11: Kate

  Chapter 12: Dawn

  Chapter 13: Kate

  Chapter 14: Dawn

  Chapter 15: Kate

  Chapter16: Dawn

  Chapter 17: Kate

  Chapter 18: Dawn

  Chapter 19: Kate

  Chapter 20: Dawn

  Chapter 21: Kate

  Chapter 22: Dawn

  Chapter 23: Kate

  Chapter 24: Dawn

  Thanks

  “Love is our true destiny.

  We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone –

  we find it with another.”

  ― Thomas Merton

  Chapter 1: Kate

  I was roused by the smell of weed.

  I stretched my legs so I could hang my feet over the end of the bed, but they hit a cushion. That’s when I remembered that I wasn’t at home. I was in my Aunt Dawn’s apartment, my Aunt Dawn who supposedly used to be tight with my Mom. Or at least the pictures from my Mom’s childhood made it look that way.

  I don’t know when they last saw each other, but I hadn’t seen Dawn in years. I was lucky she recognized me when I showed up red eyed and soaked on her doorstep.

  All I really knew about her was that my Mom didn’t approve of her lifestyle. She only came up in conversation when my Mom was unhappy with something. Usually something I did.

  Don’t drink hard alcohol or you’ll end up like your Aunt Dawn. Don’t wear too much eye make-up or listen to your music too loud or you’ll end up like her. Don’t smoke or you’ll end up just like you know who.

  I sat up on the couch and rubbed my neck where I’d slept on it funny.

  From what I could tell, my Aunt looked like she was doing okay for herself. Her apartment was cute and cozy. Very Crate & Barrel. Except for a few weird accent pieces. Like a silver monkey statue in the corner that looked like it might come to life, pick my pockets, and tip its little hat any minute.

  And she couldn’t have been nicer about me showing up the way I had: unannounced, uninvited, panicked and drenched. It seemed dramatic at the time, but it was a pretty pathetic attempt at running away. I mean, I didn't get very far on account of the storm.

  But maybe that was for the best. After all, I had school on Monday, and ditching would be a surefire way to get my ass shipped off. And the last thing I wanted was to be student number 401b at some strict boarding school for mentally unstable girls. Which is what my parents had decided I was.

  And I know I’d been a little reckless lately, but that didn’t mean they were right about sending me away. Couldn’t they see that would only make my life even more difficult than it already was?

  I looked back at the monkey to make sure it hadn’t moved and brushed the sleep out of my eyes. Then the smell hit me again. Fuck. I’d thought it was a dream. I groped at my pockets until I remembered that I’d changed into Dawn’s sweats. My pile of wet clothes was nowhere in sight.

  As I came to my senses, the smell just got stronger. It had all the warmth and depth of freshly baked bread. Except it didn't smell like a bakery. The whole room- maybe the entire apartment for all I knew- smelled like freshly baked weed.

  I stood up and opened the window to let some air in, but I panicked and closed it right away in case one of the neighbors was a narc. Then I opened it again as wide as I could, deciding it was better seeping outside than into the hallway of Dawn’s apartment building.

  I followed the smell into the hallway. To my right was a small, tidy kitchen and to my left was a small, tidy bathroom. At the end of the hall, there were two more doors. Both of them were closed. I figured one of them was my Aunt’s room.

  But halfway down the hallway was a set of double doors. I headed for them and opened them as quietly as I could. As soon as I saw the washer-dryer combo on the left, I pulled the handle on the dryer’s front door, causing the dank smell of weed to billow out and smack me in the face.

  I dropped to my knees and reached inside. When I found my jeans pocket, I turned it inside out. There were a few flakes of green, but the small bag had untwisted and the contents were gone. Unsalvageable. Vaporized.

  Then I heard a voice behind me.

  “What a relief.”

  I pulled my head out of the dryer.

  Dawn was leaning against the wall in a hot pink fleece robe, her arms folded. “If you were getting stoned at this hour, I’d have to tell your Mom you were in way deeper than I thought.”

  I looked up at her. “Please don’t say anything. It was an accident. I didn’t mean to-”

  “Don’t worry about it,” she said.

  I assumed that meant I didn’t have to say it wasn’t mine and make up a bunch of excuses.

  “I haven’t woken up to the smell of weed in a long time.” She ran her hands through her bedhead. “I’m absolutely fiending for McDonald’s breakfast now.”

  I stared at her.

  “You hungry?”

  I swallowed. “Sure.”

  “Plus we should get out of here in case the cops show up.”

  “The cops?”

  “I’m only joking. It’s unlikely.”

  “What about the neighbors?”

  “Geriatric for the most part. They wouldn’t know the smell of weed if you shoved it in their face. The lady upstairs can’t even tell when the smell of shit is coming from her own pants.”

  “You’re not mad?” I asked, still on my knees.

  “What am I supposed to do? Flip out? Cause you left weed in your pants, and I put them in the dryer?” She shook her head. “Sorry.”

  I closed the dryer door.

  “I can’t say I’m thrilled. I’m not impressed. But I don’t have the energy this morning to pretend I’m pissed.”

  “I’m so sorry.” I stood up. “I didn’t mean to wake you up and… the smell.”

  “Beats my own fag breath,” she joked. “Anyway, I’ll get changed and we’ll go.” She took a step towards her room and then turned back around. “You need a toothbrush?”

  I nodded.

  She pulled a small woven basket off a shelf in the closet and dug around. “Here. Let me know if you need anything else, and help yourself to whatever’s in the bathroom. Clean towels are under the sink.”

  “Thanks.” I was shocked at how nonchalant she was being. I was so used to being treated me like a criminal.

  A few minutes later, I followed Dawn downstairs into the parking garage towards her little white Honda. Her vibe was much lighter than my Mom’s. She didn’t dress her age or walk like she was heavy with stress. She actually seemed happy to have me around. Or at least not annoyed.

  I buckled myself into the front seat. Her car smelled like manufactured vanilla. Which was a nice change from the scent we left behind. It felt like a much more appropriate scent to smell in the presence of an adult anyway.

  “Look, Kate…” she said into the windshield as she waited for the garage gate to go up.
“I don’t want you to think that just because I didn’t flip out about the weed that I’m okay with it.”

  I listened without moving.

  “I didn’t flip out because I’m not a hypocrite, not because I think a lackadaisical attitude to illegal drugs is OK. Does that make sense?”

  I nodded. “When you say you’re not a hypocrite…?”

  “I mean I’ve smoked it before,” she said. “And just because I don’t think it’s the root of all evil doesn’t mean I think it’s okay that you drove to my apartment yesterday with weed in your pocket and in your system. Cause that was a stupid move.”

  I pursed my lips.

  “But we all make mistakes, right? So let’s start over. Because I know you’re a lot smarter than you’ve come across since last night.”

  I stuck my hands in between my knees.

  “I am concerned, though, that you think you can get away with stuff if I let you stay with me.” She flicked her blinker down and leaned back in her seat.

  “I don’t think that,” I said. “I just need somewhere to stay until my parents chill out.” I swallowed and looked out the window. “I heard them talking about sending me away to some school for messed up teens, and I really don’t think I’m that bad.”

  “So why do they think that?”

  “What has my Mom already told you?”

  “Why don’t you just do everyone a favor and tell the truth.” She kept her eyes on the road. “Then you don’t have to keep track of who knows what?”

  I considered her suggestion for a moment and decided it wasn’t the worst idea I’d ever heard. “They think I’m totally out of control and completely unhinged because I like to party like everybody else my age.”

  “I see.” Dawn turned her hands around the steering wheel. “And I suppose they don’t understand because they didn’t do those things when they were your age?”

  “Yeah, basically. Or ever.”

  “Well, if it makes you feel better, I don’t think you’re completely unhinged. I drank when I was your age. I didn’t party so hard I got picked up by the cops or anything but-”

  “Did she tell you about that?”

  “No, Jesus. Did that happen?”

  Shit. “Once. A party got busted, and I just couldn’t get out of the house in time.”

  “What happened?”

  “I got grounded.”

  “Bet that taught you a lesson.”

  I couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic.

  “Thanks for telling me the truth.”

  “Sure.”

  “Here’s the thing, Kate. I’m not as strict as your parents, but you can’t pull the wool over my eyes either. So while you might feel like you have a little more freedom to do what you want if you stay with me, you won’t be able to “get away” with anything. Because I’ll know if you’re lying. Because I was just like you at your age.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “And that might cramp your style more than their strictness.”

  “Nothing could cramp my style more than they do,” I said. “Plus, they think I’m a danger to myself and others and a bad influence on Chris.”

  “Are you?”

  “Am I what?”

  “Any of those things?”

  I didn’t know why I felt so comfortable with her. Maybe it was because I couldn’t hear any judgment in her voice. Like she wasn’t accusing me of anything. It just felt like we were having a normal conversation, and she was genuinely curious about what I had to say.

  Which was weird. Because twelve hours ago I was convinced that no one gave a shit about me or what was going through my crazy head.

  “I’m definitely not a danger to myself and others.”

  “And Chris?”

  “I admit that I sometimes set a bad example for him, but it’s not like he pays attention to me. He’s busy doing his own thing with his girlfriend and marching band all the time. He could care less what I’m up to.”

  “I see.” Dawn pulled into the McDonald’s parking lot and got in the drive thru line.

  “It’s not like I’m trying to throw my life away, you know? I actually do care about my future and my grades and stuff.” I took a deep breath. “A lot.”

  “Well I talked to your Mom last night.”

  “What did she say?”

  “She was relieved that you were alright and offered to come get you right away.”

  I felt my eyes grow big and turned to look at her. “Then what?”

  “I said you were already asleep and told her that you could stay with me for a while if she thought it would be good for you guys.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really.”

  “Thanks.” I felt so happy I could cry. I wanted to give her a big hug, but with our seat belts on and with her being so calm, I decided to play it cool.

  “But you can only stay if you promise not to put me through the same shit you’ve been putting your parents through.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean no more lies, Kate. I don’t have the time or the energy these days for teenage bullshit.”

  I nodded.

  “So you don’t bullshit me, and I won’t bullshit you. Do you understand?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I understand.”

  But I had no idea what I was signing up for.

  Chapter 2: Dawn

  Part of me wanted to go easy on her.

  She was obviously going through a lot. And she hardly knew me.

  But she didn’t need a friend as much as she needed some tough love. And my whole body was telling me that I was the person who could help her. Fred and Carol loved her, of course, but Kate couldn’t see the love in their toughness anymore. She needed the support of someone she could respect and trust.

  I thought I could be that for her.

  My plane to South America would have been taking off around the time she started breaking the edges off her greasy hash brown. Now that she was so close, it made me sick to think that I’d planned to disappear without saying goodbye. What was I thinking? I never would’ve seen her again.

  As I studied her face while she ate her bacon, egg & cheese biscuit, I realized I was getting a second chance. To do things differently. To make a difference. I would help Kate and in doing so, I would help Carol, too. And maybe if I was lucky, I could leave a different legacy after all.

  It was what was best for everybody. Including me.

  “Thanks,” she said, blotting the edges of her mouth with a paper napkin. “That was delicious.”

  “I’m glad you liked it. I know I probably should’ve taken you somewhere nicer since we haven-”

  “No. It was perfect.”

  I smiled. “Trash,” I said, holding the paper bag open.

  Once she’d put all her garbage in the bag, I rolled the top closed and placed it on the floor in the back seat. Then I cleared my throat.

  She looked across at me.

  “There’s something else I want to talk to you about,” I said, “before you decide if you want to move in.”

  “What?”

  “Your Mom told me about another problem you’ve been having that you didn’t mention earlier.”

  Kate swallowed.

  I took a deep breath, knowing I needed to tread carefully. “I’m not going to tell you what you’re thinking right now because nobody likes to be told what their thinking.”

  She nodded.

  “But I would guess that there’s a good chance you’re having at least two thoughts right now. The first one being how yummy that was…”

  She pursed her lips.

  “And the second being how guilty you feel for eating such a high calorie breakfast.”

  She shrugged. “Doesn’t everyone feel that way after they eat McDonald’s?”

  I smiled. “Yeah,” I said. “Everyone does. But most people don’t deal with it by eating even more and then making themselves throw up.”

  Shallow pools formed in the bottom
of her eyes.

  “I know this is hard for you to talk about, but it’s going to be impossible to get better if you don’t.”

  A single tear rolled over her cheekbone.

  I cleared my throat. “So let’s talk about your… tapeworm for a second…”

  She furrowed her brow.

  “It’s the tapeworm that encourages you to overeat, right?”

  She tilted her head at me. It was obvious that she wasn’t sure whether she wanted to humor me and my analogy.

  “But if you didn’t listen to it, you wouldn’t overeat. And you wouldn’t have to make yourself sick.”

  Her expression sagged.

  “So here’s the deal. I can’t afford to feed you and your tapeworm. And my plumbing can’t support both of you either. Not on top of the strain the diaper lady upstairs already puts on the system.”

  A smile broke through her sad face for a moment.

  “But if you’ll trust me- if you’ll try- I will do everything I can to help you beat this thing.”

  She wiped her nose on the back of her hand.

  “You don’t have to fight this on your own, Kate.”

  I knew she could hear me, but she stayed completely still.

  “You don’t have to hurt yourself anymore.”

  She pushed up onto her knees and draped her arms over my shoulders.

  I hugged her back awkwardly over the console of my car, putting one hand on the back of her head and the other around her side.

  “I don’t want to hurt myself anymore,” she whispered, still holding on to me.

  “I know.”

  She slid back into her seat and rolled her eyes towards the ceiling, wiping the last of her tears with the cuffs of her shirt.

  “So here’s the plan.”

  She pursed her lips.

  “We’ll eat healthily for the rest of the day so we don’t have to feel guilty about our breakfast. How does that sound? We’ll have a nice salad for dinner or something.”

  “Okay.”

  “And we’ll just take it one bite at a time, one day at a time.”

  Kate sighed and sunk into her seat.

  “Sorry to overwhelm you.” I turned the key in the ignition. “I know being honest can be exhausting, but it’ll get easier. I promise. And you’ll sleep better at night. You’ll see.”