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  I hated the idea of her suffering from morning sickness or being uncomfortable. My brother’s wife had all sorts of maladies during her first pregnancy from swollen feet to heartburn to insomnia. She was miserable, and she made sure everyone else was, too. But at least she wasn’t alone. At least someone was there for her when she needed to be sick or vent or cry or moan. The mere thought of Maeve not feeling like she could rely on me was almost enough to give me all the same symptoms Janie had. Apart from the swollen feet, of course.

  “You look like shit,” Brian said when I entered our back office after knocking once. Not that I needed to knock. No one else was ever here this time of day, and he was expecting me. Said he wanted to discuss something about our Coors supplier. Or was it something about stocking a new product from the local brewery? I couldn’t remember. I hadn’t been able to hold a thought in my head for days.

  “Thanks,” I said. “I feel like shit.”

  “Your dog die or something?”

  “No, and fuck you. What kind of asshole says that to a dog owner?”

  “It’s an expression.”

  “Well, it shouldn’t be. I didn’t come here to think about my dog dying.”

  “Whoa,” he said, raising his palms from the spreadsheets laid out in front of him. “Relax, will you? Have a seat. Take a deep breath.”

  “Don’t tell me what to do.” I shouldn’t have come. I was in no mood to talk business. I sat down, and when I looked up, he was staring at me.

  “You want to tell me what’s going on?” he asked.

  “You asked me to come in so here I am.”

  “That’s it?”

  I clenched my teeth. “That’s it.”

  “So Otis is fine?”

  I glared at him.

  “Did something happen with Maeve?”

  “No. Yes. I don’t know.” Fuck. I didn’t even know how to answer that question. “Sort of.”

  He blinked at me.

  “Something’s about to happen.”

  His dirty-blond brows lifted.

  I didn’t want to talk about it, but I was exhausted, and restraint required so much energy.

  “Did her dog die?”

  “Nobody’s dog died, okay.”

  “So what’s about to happen?” he asked, turning an ear towards me.

  “She’s getting artificially inseminated today. With some fluffy Bostonian’s sperm.”

  His neck jerked forward. “What?!”

  “Maybe that’s not fair. I don’t know if he’s fluffy. He’s probably not fluffy at all. He’s probably hard all the fucking time, and that’s why donating sperm is one of his goddamn hobbies. Because everything Daniel does has to come to some noble end. Even his wanks.”

  “Daniel?” Brian’s face twisted. “Who the fuck is Daniel?”

  “Her sperm donor.”

  “Why do you know that?”

  “Because she wants a baby, and she doesn’t have a man in her life who loves her like that and—” My stomach lurched. I glanced towards the plastic bin attached to the paper shredder, sick rising at the back of my throat.

  “You don’t look so good, man.”

  I leaned forward and put my head in my hands. I wanted to cry and scream all at once, wanted to rip my skin off and my hair out. How did I get here?

  “I thought you guys were getting serious,” he said. “Didn’t you meet the fam and celebrate Valentine’s Day together? You introduced her to your kids, for chrissakes.”

  I looked up at him, my voice like a shadow. “I think I’ve just made the biggest mistake of my life.”

  “That’s a bold statement,” he said. “You’ve got a pretty long history of fucking up.”

  “Not like this,” I said, shaking my head. Could a guy my age have a heart attack? “I should’ve told her how I felt. She had a right to know before…” I imagined her on a doctor’s table in a paper gown, her bent knees apart and her hand holding…her mother’s. Oh God, what have I done?

  “Why didn’t you tell her?” he asked. “I assumed you had.”

  “Because I’m an idiot,” I said, my tired eyes watering with regret. “Because she wouldn’t have picked me.”

  “What do you mean? What are you talking about?”

  “She wouldn’t have picked me,” I said. “If I’d been one of the donor profiles, I wouldn’t have made it past her first rounds of cuts.”

  “But she did pick you.”

  “What?” I asked, my blurred gaze finding his. “What did you say?”

  “She did pick you,” he repeated. “She’s been picking you.”

  I stared at him.

  “Am I wrong?” he asked. “I thought you guys had been hanging out every chance you could get.”

  I swallowed painfully, my mouth dry from stress and lack of sleep. Or maybe dehydration? When was the last time I ate something? No wonder I couldn’t find my words. I could barely muster enough spit to make a sentence. “We have been.”

  “No offense, man, but it sounds like you’re the fluffy one here.” He leaned forward on his elbows, forgetting the mess of papers on his desk. “What did you say when she told you she was going to do this today?”

  “I was supportive,” I said, not even knowing if that was true anymore. “I told her what I thought she wanted to hear.”

  “Do you want her to go through with this?”

  I shook my head.

  “Then you have to tell her, Finn.”

  “It’s too late,” I said, glancing at the Miller Time clock on the wall that made it look like every hour was happy hour. “She’s probably already done it.”

  “And if she has?”

  I looked back at him, my heart racing. “Then I guess I’m going to be a dad.”

  ,

  F O R T Y N I N E

  - Maeve -

  I was supposed to be clearing my inbox, but I was mostly staring at the computer screen like a vegetable. Blinking and scrolling. Forgetting to read. Starting over at the beginning. Trying to convince myself my work was important even though all I could think about was the events of that morning.

  I nearly jumped out of my skin when the door burst open.

  Finn stood before me in a black sweater, his soft brown hair unruly and his signature scruff longer than usual. He looked desperate and panicked. Wired.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, rising from my chair.

  “I needed to talk to you.”

  “Is everything okay?” I knew he hadn’t called. I’d been checking my phone for his name all morning.

  “I needed to see you.” He stormed around the desk and grabbed my shoulders, then my cheeks.

  “Your hands are freezing.” I pulled his wrists down and wrapped my palms around his balled fists. “Why aren’t you wearing a jacket?”

  “I’m in love with you, Maeve.”

  My lips fell apart. What had I just asked him?

  “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, and I’m not going to let you do this alone.”

  “Let me do what?”

  “Have a baby. Start a family.”

  I swallowed my shock.

  “I thought about what you said, and I want to stay together.”

  “You do?”

  He nodded, his blue eyes searching mine. “I don’t care if you want twenty babies by twenty different men, I’m prepared to raise every single one of them as my own. I just don’t want to lose you. You’re too important to me. You’re too…” His expression was tormented, as if a hundred words were duking it out on the tip of his tongue. “I love you,” he said again.

  My chest felt so full I thought it might crack down the center.

  “I know I should’ve told you sooner,” he said, his hands squeezing mine. “But I didn’t think it was what you wanted.”

  “What?” I shook my head. “How could that not be what I want?”

  His face had never looked so serious
. “Is it? Are you happy about this?”

  “Are you not?” I asked. “I’m confused.”

  “Me too,” he said. “About almost everything.”

  I blinked at him.

  “Apart from the fact that I’m crazy about you.”

  “Your timing is…”

  “I know,” he said, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m hoping we can laugh about it someday.”

  I squinted at him. “What?”

  “I can already picture it,” he explained. “I’ll be bouncing Daniel Jr. on my knee, telling him the day he was conceived was the day I first told you I loved you. It’s kind of romantic, don’t you think?”

  I stared at him.

  “Please think so,” he said. “It’s the best I’ve got.”

  My heart pounded as I tried to find the words. “There’s not going to be a Daniel Jr.”

  “What?” he asked, looking genuinely disappointed.

  “I didn’t go through with it.”

  “What do you mean you didn’t go through with it?” he asked. “I went to the clinic. They said you were there this morning.”

  “I didn’t go through with it,” I repeated, my throat closing up at having to say the words aloud, at having to hear them in my own voice.

  Finn’s brows crashed together. “Why?”

  I shrugged. “Because I don’t want Daniel’s Boston crème.”

  He shook his head like he didn’t understand.

  “And for the record, I don’t want twenty babies by twenty different men either.”

  “What do you want?” he asked, dipping his head as he waited for my answer.

  I was frozen in place, as shaken from his candor as I was afraid of my own.

  “Maeve.” His large hands gripped my shoulders. “What do you want?”

  “You,” I said, searching his gaze. “I want you.”

  His jaw clenched at my words.

  “If I’m going to be uncomfortable for nine months and turn my life upside down, I want it to be because I made a baby with you.”

  His eyes took on a glassy shine. “Really?”

  Seeing him upset made my own tear ducts twitch. “I’m sorry,” I said as one escaped down my cheek. “I know that’s not what you want.”

  “Are you crazy?” He pulled me into his arms. “Of course that’s what I want.”

  I hugged him back, melting against his strong chest and breathing in his masculine scent in the hope that it might calm the frenzied energy inside me. “You’re not just saying that, are you?”

  The rumble of his laugh rocked my whole body. “Maeve—” He straightened his arms out to look at me.

  “Because guys will say anything for sex.”

  “I want more than sex,” he said, fixing his gaze on mine. “And I want more than friendship.”

  I bit the inside of my lip.

  “I want it all,” he said. “With you.”

  I held my breath and hung on his words, the steadiness in his voice making me feel rooted and safe.

  “You’re everything I never knew I wanted.”

  I pressed my lips together until a smile broke them apart, the doubts that had been swirling through me finally laid to rest. “I feel the same.”

  F I F T Y

  - Finn -

  She wanted me back, wanted me by her side. Wanted to have my baby. Babies? Whatever. It didn’t matter. I wanted all of her, and if that meant wanting what she wanted, I was cool with that.

  All this time, I thought I had everything I needed, and I was right. But there was more to life than making sure my needs were met.

  And having realized that, I felt invincible. Like all the detours I’d taken in life happened for a reason. Because they made me the kind of man a woman like Maeve could love. It seemed impossible, but the proof was right in front of me, written in her sparkling eyes.

  “I love you, too, Finn,” she said, her cheeks glowing pink. “I don’t know why I didn’t tell you sooner. I guess I felt like I needed to talk myself out of it.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know,” she said with a shrug. “Because fun-loving bachelors aren’t known for sitting around wishing workaholic homebodies will show up and siphon the joy from their lives.”

  I laughed and tipped her chin up. “You’re so wrong.”

  She cocked her head. “Am I?”

  “You are my joy,” I said. “And you’re not the only homebody in this relationship.”

  Her smile pulled to one side.

  “If you want to stay in and play naked pancakes every night for the rest of our lives, that’s fine by me.”

  “The rest of our lives?”

  “What?” I asked, feigning surprise. “I thought you liked planning ahead.”

  “Maybe not that far.”

  “I’m in this for the long haul, Maeve. On one condition.”

  She drew back and eyed me warily.

  "We start trying tonight.”

  “Trying what?”

  I flashed my brows. “You know what I’m talking about.”

  “Are you sure you’re ready?” she asked, setting a hand on my chest. “I understand if you want to wait.”

  “I definitely don’t want to wait.” I draped my hands around her lower back and pulled her hips against mine. “Waiting almost made me lose my chance.”

  She looked up at me hopefully.

  “I want the job,” I said. “I want to be The Guy. Your guy. If you’ll have me.”

  She lifted onto her toes and pressed her lips to mine, one hand clenched around my shirt as the other hugged my cheek. “I thought this day was a disaster,” she whispered against my lips. “But you’ve turned it right around.”

  “And we didn’t even get to the trying part yet,” I said, kissing her again, only deeper this time so she’d know how much every part of me wanted her.

  “I never thought I’d say this,” she said, dropping her forehead against mine. “But I’m so glad I chickened out.”

  "Sometimes chickening out is the bravest thing you can do.”

  She laughed but kept her face where it was, our breath mingling between our charged bodies.

  “What made you change your mind?”

  “I’m not sure,” she said, pulling back to look at me. “Everything was going according to plan, but it felt…all wrong. And when it was time for the procedure, I just couldn’t do it. I kept thinking, how can I do this to the man I love, much less without him?”

  “Not that you need me,” I joked.

  “Of course not,” she said, her eyes glittering with gratitude. “But I want you. I really, really want you.”

  “I want you, too,” I said. “So from now on, please don’t try to make any babies without me.”

  “I won’t,” she promised.

  “And I’ll stop pretending there’s anything casual about my feelings for you.”

  “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

  I kissed her again until her hips ground against me, and for a moment, I thought we were going to start trying right there on her wide desk. But our impassioned embrace was interrupted by the opening of her office door.

  “Oh. Jesus. I didn’t mean to—”

  I turned towards the man’s voice and willed him to leave immediately.

  “I’m so sorry to interrupt.”

  Maeve covered her mouth and cleared her throat, rolling her shoulders back in an effort to regain her composure. “Kurt,” she said, failing to dim her vibrant blush. “It’s not a good time.”

  “I-uh—”

  Was he deaf?

  His stuttering stopped when his eyes met mine, and his expression brightened with recognition. “Hey, aren’t you the guy from that band? With the brothers?”

  I turned towards Maeve and gave her my best is this guy for real? face.

  “This is Kurt,” she said, pointing a reluctant palm towards him. “My deceptively ca
pable colleague.”

  Even without her hinting, the look in her eyes told me everything I needed to know.

  “Would it be totally inappropriate to ask for an autograph?” he asked. “It’s just, my-uh-friend…”

  Maeve rolled her eyes.

  “She’s a big fan,” he continued, proving once and for all that he didn’t have a tactful bone in his body, much less any sense of decorum.

  “Yes,” Maeve said, clearly mortified that he would ask such a thing. “It would be totally inapp—”

  “It’s cool,” I said, making a lazy gimme gesture.

  Maeve folded her arms with an audible huff.

  Kurt handed me the manilla folder he was carrying and retrieved a pen from the front pocket of his shirt.

  “What would you like it to say?” I asked, holding back a sneer as I poised the pen over the paper.

  Kurt glanced at Maeve sheepishly before cleaning his throat.

  Meanwhile, I fought the impulse to punch him in the nose, even though I quite liked the idea of him skulking out of her office with two eyes instead of the four he came in with.

  “I don’t know,” he said finally. “For Britney, maybe? Whatever you usually write is fine.”

  I scribbled “Go Fuck Yourself” on the page and handed it to him without smiling. “How’s that?”

  He parted his lips, but no sound followed. Instead, he took two steps backward and excused himself without another word.

  “What a jerk,” Maeve said. “And then he didn’t even thank you?”

  “If you think about it,” I said, facing her again, “I’m the one who should be thanking him.”

  She scoffed.

  “Maybe we’ll even name the baby we make tonight after him.”

  She shuddered. “Eww. Absolutely not.”

  I laughed. “Fine, but if you’re vetoing Kurt, I’m vetoing Daniel.”

  “Deal.”

  I stepped up to her, still flying high from the knowledge that I’d been given a second chance to be the guy who made her dreams come true. “So, how soon do you get off?”

  “That depends,” she said, glancing down at her watch before lifting her smiling eyes. “Your place or mine?”